To Love and Forgive your enemies. And Pray for them.

Mt 5:43-48 LOVE OF ENEMIES

“Jesus asks us to love our enemies, do good to them, avoid revenge, and not to think of retaliation. We open our hearts to understanding and forgiveness. We create all possibilities to foster friendship. Jesus also asks us to pray for our persecutors, to wish them good, to see goodness in them, and to think of their well-being.”

This is what the Gospel has taught me today.

                This lesson is one of the toughest things to learn. And to do! Forgiving enemies is difficult, but forgiving those who hurt you is even harder. Both of them make you angry and hurt, and those two feelings are really hard to remove. Bitterness starts with hurt, then will be transformed into anger, and somehow a desire for revenge will eventually emerge. With these people come fights, tears and a lot of hurt.

                Enemies meant in the gospel do not only refer to those people whom you fight with, but also to those people you really dislike and hate, and to those who have simply caused you pain. What they have done to you will pierce your heart, and you won’t forget it. When this happens, it almost seems impossible to think of forgiveness when you are deeply hurt.

                I’ve definitely been there. I’ve had my major experiences of being so hurt, I could drown in those feelings and I just wanted to escape everything. It took months and years for me to heal, and perhaps developed a tiny tiny bit of trauma, because I never want it to happen again.

                Since then, I try to so hard not to make enemies. But don’t get the wrong idea; I am not living to please people. I’ve always been quiet, trying to avoid being judgmental and I try to use positive criticism as much as possible. But I have to admit, I have really improved my life since my experience of having a really big fight with my friends. It taught me a lot.

                Another major experience I had of being so hurt was because of love. I was with this guy for a time, but we never had a relationship. It was just having something really special with him. And just so you know, I don’t have a boyfriend yet, since I don’t plan to have one until after college. But who can tell when love enters your life? One way or another, I have to experience it too, and perhaps be tested. Moving on, we were both really close, and I had fallen in love with him. But unfortunately, about the time I realized this, we were already drifting. Specifically, he was growing distant towards me. Since he was my first love, it was truly tough on me. I spent so many nights of wondering, confusion, sadness and tears over the entire situation. I mean, what’s a girl to do in dealing with these things when she’s so new to them? Well, eventually I knew that there was another girl in the picture. And it hurt, like my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

                In the long run, I just wanted honesty from him to tell me what happened. I could eventually accept that we could not be together, but I just wanted a formal ending to this, so I didn’t have to keep on guessing and assuming all the time. But he didn’t tell me anything, even until now. So I had no choice but to break away from it all. And modern times would see it as deleting him from my Facebook friends list, so I will not have any further contact with him.

                But again, today’s Gospel asks me to face him, who hurt me, and forgive him. Now, my feelings for that part of past has already faded. I have quite moved on. And miraculously, after reading today’s Gospel, I could already say to myself that I can completely forgive him! It made me feel so humble that I wanted to tell him right away what I was feeling. But of course, we had no communication for months, so oh well. Still, I was caught up in that feeling of forgiveness. All at once I wanted to tell him that I was sorry, somehow, for not trying to understand, and for all the things I have done wrong in my part. I also wanted to tell him that I forgive him, and that I am sincerely happy for him. I wanted to tell him that I hoped we could be friends again. I want to tell all that I realized.

                Once again, I have freed myself. By forgiving, my heart is somehow whole again. And I know in my heart, that God has also forgiven me.

                The Gospel teaches us to forgive. Because just as the Father has forgiven us all, no matter how sinful they have been, so we should also forgive each other.

                Reality check. Forgiving is really difficult. The pain does not allow you to forgive as long as it’s there. The more you hurt, the your anger and desire for revenge will grow. But take hope! In these times, cling to God and ask Him to be with you and to heal you. He will not refuse a humble heart who asks him. I do know that it will take a lot of time to heal, but as much as possible do not fuel your anger and revenge. Allow the pain to flow, as it is natural. Cry it out, because it is a way of cleansing the pain. Do not lose contact with God. He will be with you through it all.

                Remember that once you forgive, a part of you will be set free.

                This lesson is really valuable, and must be learned all over again because it is really one hard thing to do!

                 I myself am still trying to get over another guy I like. We established a friendship over a period of time. But when he asked me out on Valentines Day and he kept on cancelling several times, I sort of got enough of it and did not reply to his text. Ever since that, he never made contact with me again. And my friends have been telling he seems to be courting another girl all along. Okay. Ouch.

                But I am still praying despite all these. Because He will always be there for me.

                I’m quite over it now, but with some like and hurt feelings still there.

                Next tough lesson: Pray for those who persecute you. Pray for their good and well-being.

                And I’m doing that myself.